The Cost of Silence: Why Leaders Must Talk About Trauma

Police leaders across the country are starting to prioritize officer mental health. I’ve taught at countless conferences and have seen firsthand the growing number of resources now available to support officers. But even with all this progress, one key piece is still missing:

Leadership that walks the walk.

Being a leader means showing up the way you expect others to. It's not just what you say, it's how you live. In law enforcement, that includes taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. When a leader is willing to do the work, seek support, and stay grounded through stress, it sends a powerful message to the team.

Caring for your mental health isn’t a weakness. It’s part of the job.

When your actions line up with your words, people trust you. And when you model accountability, balance, and emotional resilience, your officers are more likely to do the same. That’s how you build a culture of wellness where people look out for each other and the team stays healthy enough to do the job well, together.

When I was captain of the Wellness Bureau for the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department, I regularly checked in with both officers and supervisors. If I knew someone had been through something traumatic, on duty or at home, I’d give them a call just to let them know I was thinking about them. I’d often end the call by offering to connect them with a mental health professional.

Most of the time, they didn’t take me up on it.

I heard every excuse in the book about why therapy wouldn’t work. And many of those same leaders were the first to call me when one of their people was struggling. They were quick to help others but rarely accepted help themselves.

I believe every cop that wears a badge could benefit from therapy. The cumulative trauma of this job is too much to carry alone, especially without the right tools and proper self-awareness.

When a leader chooses to get help and has the courage to talk about it, it makes an impact. People notice. And it gives others permission to take care of themselves too.

I’ve seen this firsthand. The few times a leader did say yes to that offer, something shifted. It was like the dam broke. Officers who had been quietly struggling started asking questions. They stopped by the office just to talk. Eventually the number of officers that reached out for help increased.  

That’s how culture changes. Not with policies or posters, but with real people showing up, being honest, and doing the work.

We can’t expect our teams to be emotionally resilient if we’re not doing it ourselves. You can’t teach calm if you only lead from chaos. You can’t preach balance if your own life is on fire. And you can’t build trust if your words don’t match your actions.

Wellness doesn’t have to mean hour-long therapy sessions or yoga mats in the squad room. It starts with basic stuff. Making the call to have a  conversation. Checking in. Saying yes when someone offers to help. Giving yourself the same care you give to everyone else.

If you’re a leader reading this and you’ve been thinking about making a change, here’s your opportunity.

Go first. Not because it’s easy, but because it matters. The people watching you are the ones who need to know they can do it too.

They don’t need perfection, they just need authenticity.

And real leadership starts with you.