Writing The Courage to Live: A Journey of Fear, Faith, and Growth

When I first sat down to write a book, I thought it would be simple. Open a Word document, outline a few chapters, and start typing out the stories I had collected over two decades as a police officer. The truth was very different. I tried and failed more times than I can count.

Every cop hears it at some point: “You should write a book.” After a few stories at a party, people assume it’s easy. But when you actually sit down to do it, the weight of your experiences, the emotions tied to them, and the structure it takes to pull it all together can stop you before you ever get started.

That’s why finishing The Courage to Live feels like such a milestone. The book releases October 1st, and it’s equal parts exciting and terrifying.

Why I Finally Wrote the Book

I owe a lot of credit to my wife, Jenna. She stumbled across something called an “Author Adventure,” run by Joan of Ark Publishing. It wasn’t just a retreat to write, it was a structured, immersive experience designed to pull stories out of you, help you process them, and put them on paper in a way that connects.

The “Author Adventure” was in Costa Rica, where I was assured by the publisher that I would be able to write a big chunk of my book in five days. I figured it was worth a shot to be able to shut the world out for five days, and only focus on my book. I decided to take the leap. 

When I got to Costa Rica, it wasn’t just typing on a computer all day. There was meditation, breathwork, drumming, even red-light therapy. At first, I was skeptical. As a retired cop, my writing style had become robotic, short, matter-of-fact, stripped of emotion. But when I let myself fully engage in the process, I rediscovered the creative part of me that had been buried for years.

I wrote like I never had before; 10,000 words a day, pouring out memories, lessons, and emotions I didn’t even know I was still carrying. Some days it was heavy. Reliving trauma on paper will do that. But the team was intentional about balance. When emotions got too high, we paused for breathwork or stepped outside to reset. That rhythm allowed me to keep going.

The Obstacles That Almost Stopped Me

If writing a book wasn’t hard enough, life seemed determined to throw roadblocks in the way. Right after I signed the publishing contract, I lost my job. Suddenly, Jenna and I were faced with the decision: walk away or push forward into uncertainty.

We chose to push forward.

That leap of faith forced us to rely fully on our business and on the belief that this book mattered. There were flight delays on my way to Costa Rica, financial stress, even a broken air conditioner right before I left. It felt like resistance at every turn. But sometimes resistance is proof you’re moving in the right direction.

What the Process Taught Me

By the time I returned from Costa Rica, I had a complete manuscript. But the journey wasn’t over. Working with professional editors and designers refined the book into what it is now, something that feels like it belongs on a shelf at Barnes & Noble.

More than that, the process changed me. It made me better at writing in every form: blogs, social media posts, speeches. It also reminded me that courage isn’t just about what happens in a hallway during a critical incident. It’s also about being willing to put your story into the world, even when it scares you.

Why This Book Matters

The Courage to Live isn’t just a collection of police stories. It’s about the lessons hidden inside those moments, lessons about fear, resilience, and what it means to choose growth when everything in you wants to shut down.

Jenna read the manuscript in two days. She’s heard every story I’ve ever told, but she said this book was different. It was deeper, more vulnerable, more universal. That’s what I hope readers feel when they pick it up.

On October 1st, the release of The Courage to Live will give me a new memory to anchor that date. For years, October 1st has been a day marked by tragedy. Now, it will also stand as a reminder of healing, resilience, and courage.