The Myth of Fearlessness

In my new book, The Courage to Live, I explore what fear really does to the mind and body, drawing on both past and current research. Fear is often viewed as the enemy. We hear phrases like “be fearless” or believe that fear is something we can eliminate altogether. In reality, fear is an emotion designed to keep us alive.

That doesn’t mean feeling fear is pleasant or helpful in every situation. It can trigger physical and mental reactions that cloud judgment and make it harder to think clearly or perform under pressure.

When the brain senses danger, the amygdala sounds the alarm before your rational mind has a chance to weigh in. Your body floods with adrenaline and cortisol, your heart rate spikes, your breathing quickens, and your muscles tense. This reaction sharpens your senses and prepares you to act, but it also narrows your focus and limits your ability to think critically. Under enough stress, your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for reasoning and decision-making, goes offline. That’s when you get tunnel vision, fixate on one detail, or make impulsive choices.

That doesn’t mean feeling fear is pleasant or helpful in every situation. It can trigger physical and mental reactions that cloud judgment and make it harder to think clearly or perform under pressure. But when we learn to recognize and regulate those responses, fear becomes less of an enemy and more of a signal.  

The more we understand fear, the better we can navigate through its effects. Due to the intense nature of this emotion, thinking clearly during its impact is difficult.  I provide many tools in the 

The more we understand fear, the better we can navigate through its effects. Due to the intense nature of this emotion, thinking clearly during its impact is difficult. I provide many tools in the book, but here are a few that can help.

Start with your breath. It sounds simple, but when your body is flooded with adrenaline, controlled breathing is one of the fastest ways to send the signal that you are safe. Slow, steady breaths calm your nervous system, lower your heart rate, and allow the part of your brain that makes decisions to come back online. When your body starts to slow down, your thoughts can follow.

Next, check in with your body. Notice what is happening physically. Are your shoulders tight? Is your jaw clenched? Are you scanning the room or locked in on one thing? These small cues tell you a lot about where your fear is living. Naming what you feel helps your brain shift from reacting to responding.

Finally, visualize the version of yourself you want to show up. Your mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined. If you picture yourself calm, focused, and steady under pressure, your brain begins to wire for that response. Athletes, military, and first responders have used this for decades. Visualization trains your body to follow your mind’s lead.

Fear will always be there. It is not something to erase or eliminate. But when you learn how to work with it instead of against it, fear becomes less of a wall and more of a guide. It sharpens awareness, builds courage, and reminds you that you are still alive.

For more tools and tips, check out my book, The Courage to Live available on Amazon here: https://a.co/d/6fwwauf